Because it wasn't just a smoothie. It was a smoothie I'd thought about starting my day with for weeks. It was a smoothie I'd tormented myself with. It was a fucking smoothie I dreamed of bringing into my life. It was a fucking smoothie but for me, it was pure grit and determination. However I now understand my smoothie game was weak and I want to try way more flavours and things in them. What a world I have suddenly seen.
The fact of the matter, I'm fed up of dreaming. Of dreaming of the life I want to be living. Instead, I'm just going to fucking make that life happen. I won't give up until I have achieved it. The world can shit on me ten times over and I will shit back at it with some explosive diarrhoea. So I sipped away this morning as I did my pole instructor training sat at my desk reminding myself that it's not weight, food,
Numbers or calories. I don't have time for those things in the life I want. It's just fuel that I will have to make time for in the life I want.
Today was a huge step for me. Because I started my pole instructor training. Not because of the smoothie. The smoothie is a baby step into the grand scheme of things. I've made a hell of a lot of steps back to where I was before my most recent hiccup with Ana, once I return to that point, I will only keep pushing for my life harder. All these baby steps add up. Trust a girl with short legs and tall friends on that one, my life is a constant light jog in heels.