☾Seduction instead of enforcement.☽ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In my latest IG-Story, when Smi just walks into the forest to express his own desire to take a shortcut, I was told that I better should dominate him and that stroking would be a reward for his wrong behavior.
Since it is not just one message, that popped up in my mailbox, I would like to share my thoughts with everyone.
It is my version to be with my horse, so I´m consciously writing in the I-form.
For me, both aspects, including "dominance and enforcement" and "wrong praise", are part of an old thought pattern, which has very narrow limits. It reminds me of the relationship between a boss and employee, in which one person has to do what the other person wants him to. This kind of communication is an impasse for me.
I want to have a friendly relationship with Smi, in which he can express himself and decide himself as well. Also every time „it's a feast for me“ when he communicates with me and has his own ideas because it has not always been that way. At the beginning of our journey, he was a quiet, sweet, unobtrusive pony who neither upset anyone nor attract attention. He had been very capped by his former owner and acted like a sad servant.
The situation in the story was absolutely not threatening: he just walked a few steps into the forest to tell me about his idea. Yes it would have been very easy to get him back on the right track by „enforcing“ him in a rather negative manner and crossing his border. I could have been annoyed, taking the reins and steering him in the other direction, maybe even put some pressure with my legs.
I could have also “enforced“ him to get back on the right path… I mean being annoyed, taking the reins and steering him in the other direction, maybe even put some pressure with my legs. Everything rather negative and crossing his border. But then he probably would have dissociated himself from me and my version of a nice ride and after a few situations like that he would have sealed himself off at some point.
•Part 2/2• in the comments below
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