I’m not sure why this is the case, but I think I’ve spent most of my life hanging out in the “middle place.”
We all know the middle place well: it’s that sometimes exciting, sometimes scary, sometimes unsettling place, the one where you feel a little stuck between what once was and what will someday be.
I’m feeling stuck in this middle place more often than not these days, waiting and hoping for the future I want for myself and the people I love. I’m working toward building a life I’ve dreamt of for way too long, but sometimes I stumble. Sometimes I get stuck because I’m in my head about what I deserve, wondering if true happiness really can come my way. Wondering if the odds are stacked too far against my favor. Wondering if I don’t have these things now, will they ever really happen? Wondering if I’ll just have to resign myself to always thinking, ‘One day… Someday… Maybe… If only…’.
Worry is the worst enemy I know, and self-doubt is the scariest crevice to crawl into.
But, luckily, there are better things that sing louder than either of those evils, and I cling to them with every last fiber of my being:
Hope and trust and, of course, love.
I think these three things can change everything. Because they are the things that turn this middle place into something much more than just a state of suspension—they turn the middle place into the precipice of perfection.
So I’m learning to be okay with right now, because it’s where I can hope my tomorrows will be the ‘one days’ I’ve longed for. It’s where I can trust I am right where I need to be. And it’s where I can choose to love this beautiful, blessed life I get to call my own.
Sounds like a good place to be to me.
In 2006, Kevin Calabro hired me to shoot a cover of James “Blood” Ulmer’s album, “Bad Blood in the City”. At the end of the shoot I said, “I want to shoot a roll of black and white.” Blood was getting tired and didn’t really want to shoot anymore, but I asked him to hang in there. This was the next to last frame we shot for day. #onlyinnyc#acreativelife#blackandwhite#jamesbloodulmer
One of the sweet ladies at “our” HomeGoods gave me these two chocolate gingerbread men to share with @thegreekbeard because we “are always so friendly and nice.” Not wanting them to melt, i rushed home and placed them in the fridge until i could share them. After dinner i explained the surprise treats and the kindness of our friend. Taking a bite i was shocked to discover THEY WERE PLASTIC!!! This has been one of the funniest (and most tragic) of holiday treats ever.
‘184’ w/ @jujuinperson & audie.pdf off the “I Love Loosies - EP” (link in bio) ••• this is probably my favorite song off the project because all the people involved were ones that always pushed me to be better, as a creative and as a person. thank you @jujuinperson for the production, @r.t.a.s for engineering the soul out of this and audie for writing this with me ••• we need to perform this live in dc, for the culture. what y’all think? should we orchestrate that? 🤔 ••• #dmvartists#slowbounce#beatyourfeet#oldcartoons#acreativelife#musicvideoeditor
Sha Ye is a master of Chinese painting and calligraphy whose been exhibited around the world. She is also a noted photographer and published poet in China. We met about a year and a half ago and changed each other’s life. I shot this last summer with a 5d #acreativelife#livelifewithpassion#itonlytakesone#ilovethiswoman