Yesterday we had our Bouncy Sports Arena in Brent Cross, London for a community day where it was visited by Benjamin Bear from a preschool and our Inflatable Laser Tag had to be transported by passenger ferry to an island in Berkshire where our corporate event took place. .
My children are so amazing. Protecting them from seeing my own fragility with so much of what’s happened feels endless. I’ve found myself crying into kitchen cabinets at times. I don’t know if I could ever be a perfect mother, but I know I am constantly asking myself how to be a better one. Perhaps it’s growing up with the amount of abuse I grew up with, or witnessing first hand my step children’s trauma with what has happened and continues to happen with their dad and their mom.
Perhaps it’s a strong belief that kids just shouldn’t have to deal with their parents fucking bull shit and addictions and drama and lack of emotional maturity.
Perhaps it’s a desire for my kids to be far more successful then either me or their dads have been thus far.
I know it’s in huge part allowing myself to become close to so many toxic people in my late teens and early twenties, and allowing so much toxicity in myself, that pushes me to want a whole new aspect of community for my kids.
I am grateful I am able to work on that now. It’s been such a transformation to know the people I know now, and to let go and distance myself (and my kids) from the people I knew then. It feels like actually practicing happiness as opposed to simply falling into the feeling.
Photo by @yammaed .
Bear hugs from my one and only #BenjaminBear. 🐻 Lately he loves when mommy “kiss it better.” I (gracefully 🤦🏼♀️) fell down our stairs yesterday and bruised my tailbone to high heaven 😭. I have to keep reminding him that I move slow because “mommy has an owie on her bum” and every time he replies with, “Benji kiss it better.” 😚 (#imelt) Basically, bear hugs and bum kisses are my favorite thing in the entire world right now. #momlifeisthebestlife#mycuprunnethover