In the weekend I listened to a talk on vulnerability. This got me thinking and listing to some more.
I started this page to keep myself in track of the goals I have set; to be the fittest I have been by the time I turn 40 (in April 2019) plus tone up and get debt free (pour all my money into my student loan) no more paying the month minimum.
I started getting people I know following me on this page (I shouldn’t have used a picture of myself then) and I didn’t like that. Now I know why, I’m being valuable on here. People I know will see that I don’t have it all together but they will also see why I’m not going out doing as much as I would normally have or go out holidays. It’s all about beans and rice and being a gazelle (Dave Ramsey fan girl)
So this is me, single, nearly 40, with a student loan debt of $15020.03 it should be under $15,000 🤦♀️😥 Where did that $20 come from. I have paid $761.05 in the month that I started this page 💪. Now to put some more money to get it under $15,000. Getting rid of the debt and being more vulnerable.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. 🌸 You don’t have to get it right every-time to be worthy. You don’t have to even know what the next step is to be worthy. 💕 ..
You are worthy. Period. Full stop. 🛑 And when this becomes a reality for you, then you can give yourself the grace to be imperfect. 🌲 Because we all are. It’s not strange to be imperfect. It’s actually strange to think that we can be anything else. 🌺 ..
Your imperfections allow people to know that you are human and they can relate to you because they can see themselves in the very thing that you are ashamed of or want to hide. 🌹 Because imperfection is universal. 💦 💧 ..
You can still be excellent 🎉🎊and dominate 🔥your industry with your innovation 🧚🏾♀️and expertise 🙇🏾♀️all while being imperfect. 🐹
Look 👀 out for my upcoming blog for more information! 🤩It launches on September 22, 2018. Count down day 18, 4 days to go! 💃🏽 🎉 🎊 🎈 ..
www.yourpowerunleashed.com. Link in bio. ..
The blog will give you practical tools to break through your #confidence gap glass ceiling so that you can finally begin living the potential 💪🏽✨💫⚡️you know deep down you have!
Sign up to the blog and get a free e-book 📘on 10 confidence strategies that you can implement now. Link in bio. www.yourpowerunleashed.com
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about @brenebrown ‘s teaching, that unused creativity is not benign.
Creativity is a life force- it dwells and grows inside of us and if it’s stifled or silenced, our life force, our vitality, turns from a rushing river to a stagnant puddle.
And just like in still water, what grows in those spaces that are meant to flow can turn against us.
I used to consider myself an artist- a singer, a songwriter, a poet.
But one day I had heard “no” too many times, that I decided to stop.
Funny thing is- I was the person telling myself no more than anyone else.
And over the years I’ve felt the things that have grown in me go from hopes, dreams, deep wells of big emotions- to fear, silence and an overall numbness that felt comfortable until it didn’t.
Slowly but surely- the life force has manifested itself in different ways... But even then it feels tempered. Even then it doesn’t feel the same as the way it felt when I picked up a guitar and wrote my own versions of masterpieces. But it’s coming... I am not the girl I was that put the dam in the water 10 years ago- I couldn’t possibly be. And I have felt the effects of silencing what lives in me.
But I am also here to say it is never too late to come back to life. It is never too late to create what you were meant to create. It is never too late to pull the plug and see what comes rushing forth.
I can’t say what will happen when you do- but I can say you will feel alive again. I can say you will feel at home. I can say that there are a million masterpieces in all of us- just waiting to be brought to life.
Will you let them?
There was a season in my life (ok who am I kidding, like 38 years of a season) where I ran from criticism. Mostly, because as a 2 on the Enneagram, I’ve discovered I find my worth in making other people happy. “You’re happy, I’m happy! Wait, you’re not happy? I must be failing! You’re giving me negative feedback which means I’m not making you happy which means that you may not need me, and….that would be the WORST!” Actually, the worst is finding your identity in how you think other people see you. Don’t be like me.
But here I am now, literally on the two week cusp of reaching a new decade and finding so much freedom in learning how, and why, I think and react the way I do. Rather than running from truth or criticism, I’m learning to embrace pain and think deeply about it. Not pretend it doesn’t exist and then mask it by doing something to make someone else happy.
My mental processes have been challenged and changed in the 13 years I’ve spent watching my husband navigate the world through a radically different lense than I do. The man LOVES feedback. I want to hide and pretend everything is ok and he wants to press in and listen. I am prideful, he is humble. He knows he isn’t perfect but isn’t mastered by a fear of failure. In fact, he sees what some would perceive as failure or painful as opportunities for growth. Ray Dalio calls it rapid learning/evolving. Jesus calls it sanctification.
I’m learning that I need not fear discomfort, feedback, pain or perceived failure, but instead find freedom in pressing into it all, and asking God to expose my weaknesses and fears. Only then can I progress, create, grow to be more like Jesus. We need to give ourselves and others the grace to seemingly fail. It is the birthplace of growth.
Let’s be people that aren’t afraid of pain or reflecting on it. Let’s be people that allow ourselves, and others, to try again and again, to grow, to be creative, and when it looks like we’ve failed, to begin again.
For the past few years, I sat in my home office feeling more lonely, disconnected and isolated by the day. I sat on the sidelines watching the world move in big ways.
Women making strides and changing the game.
I’d drive home from daycare listening to @milckmusic:
“I can’t keep quiet. Let it out, let it out now. There’ll be someone who understands,” wanting to find that one person. But, I worried there wouldn’t be anyone.
And then, I did the work to get back to my truth. To feel strong in my story again.
I felt resolve and a critical need to share in the hopes that it would help anyone who remotely felt any of the things I had felt in the hardest stage of my life. I wanted to let it out, but my desire to share my story wasn’t dependent anymore on if someone understood or not. The hope, the purpose, was that it existed for anyone searching for a story.
When it’s new, you’re an introvert, you’ve been working from home and not encountered real life humans and now are trying to put yourself out there, it definitely feels scary. But, if there’s true conviction to show up and be seen, it’s time to not be so anonymous in the world anymore.
I love this book. I love it so much that I’ve listened to it multiple times (@brenebrown reads it herself and she is captivating!) and I bought a copy to reread and underline my favorite parts. So much of this book resonates with the current climate of the world and with me. “Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.” 💕
Tenemos que dejarnos ver, profundamente, vulnerables.
Amar con todo el corazón, así no haya garantías.
Ejercer la gratitud y la dicha en esos momentos de terror cuando nos preguntamos: ¿Puedo amarte tanto? ¿Puedo creer en esto tan apasionadamente? ¿Puedo enojarme tanto por esto?
Me puedo detener y en lugar de ser catastrófico decir: "simplemente estoy muy agradecido. Porque estoy vivo, porque sentirse vulnerable significa estar vivo". Y por último y más importante, creer que somos suficientes. Porque cuando funcionamos desde esa perspectiva, dejamos de gritar y empezamos a escuchar. Somos más amables con las personas que nos rodean y más amables y considerados con nosotros mismos. - Brené Brown @brenebrown *Los invito a que vean el "TED Talk" de esta mujersota sobre el poder de la vulnerabilidad. Se los dejo en mi perfil! 💜
WHAT INSPIRES ME MOST: day six of @thebrand_stylist #mybrilliantbrand challenge.
I love badass women like Brene Brown.
We all have that story that we’re too scared to tell. It’s the one thing holding us back. We’re fearful of what people will think if we admit we’re struggling with it.
Yet at the same time we’re scared to show up fully, we say we want more authenticity. We’re tired of the perfectly composed IG perfect life.
So here’s my story that I’m too scared to show. I still work a full-time job on top of my business.
Small thing, right? But for some reason I’ve bought into this notion that unless you’re full time in your business you haven’t made it.
I can rationalize all day about how my part-time is what many people consider full-time. And hell, did you know most millionaires have, on average, seven streams of income!?
Here I stand trying to be a badass woman business owner + mom + wife + employee + friend and the only reason I think it’s all possible is because I see others doing it day in and day out, trying to remind myself that we can do it all, just not all at the same time.
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen even when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage. 🌿 #brenebrown#brenebrownquotes
s e p t e m b e r.
I decided to start a new series where I write a poem expressing my general feels about each month. I've been wanting to write a bit more long form and my favourite way to do so is often through creative reflection.
Also, I'd love for you to play along! I'll be creating a template where you can write in your own thoughts and if you tag me, I'll share it in my story. Also feel free to write something up from scratch. Since I'm on vacation, I don't know when that template will happen yet but it will happen soon!
Thanks for reading the long ones. And the short ones. And the silly ones. And the serious ones. Thank you. x #boakman