It’s that time again, real talk. Here’s a photo in my natural hair color, makeup free, and tired from the life I had been living. BUT I remember this day. I remember the laughter, exploration of the area, and having delightfully authentic crepes @pacificcrepes .
This person looking here at me feels like a stranger. I don’t know her, but I want to give grace in this. I’ve always strived for perfection- in my work, and in my personal life. When it hasn’t been achieved, I have had a habit of tearing myself apart.
I’ll never forget while I was attending @csm_news and my all too talented course director said, It’s too perfect. You’re in a box.
I remember my defenses going up, “what?? Doesn’t he see this mistake, that mistake, there is a thread showing, etc.” Then I realized that my years here in the states in the industry had been filled with me accepting projects that I wasn’t excited about (though incredibly grateful) and I had slowly over time allowed those projects to dictate my voice. What I didn’t realize at the time was the loss of voice also stemmed to my personal life. I no longer knew who I was as an artist, or what I wanted to say in that space.
I knew the person I had been, and the person I no longer wished to be. It’s taken a couple of years to accept / explore that extended season of life, but I’m finally ready. I have a lot to say, and I’ll be sharing that with you over the next year with some projects I’m incredibly invested in. You won’t find perfection in them, but hopefully on some scale, your spirit will feel connected. #courtneyannstudio .
Today is one of those days where I’m feeling incredibly humbled. Man, these past couple of years have thrown me for a tailspin...and my choices within that space have been a clear reflection of that. I’m definitely in a space of healing. In a space of learning to let go, to trust God with all of it. And that’s something that I’m beginning to understand will be a continual process throughout the course of my life.
You know, even through the chaos that’s within this life, his love for us is so apparent. I can see him in the clouds, in the wind blown trees, in the laughing faces enjoying time together...and tonight...well, tonight I could see Him in the crashing ocean waves as the sun set gently upon them.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by life right now, perhaps try stepping into rest with him. I pray you find healing in your spirit, and love for others pouring sweetly from your lips. #courtneyannstudio
Megababe @tasyateles sporting @courtneyallegraswim . Photographed by @terezajanakova , hair and makeup @taylourchanel + @jutemagazine @peerspace .... such a great day with these powerhouse babes x #courtneyannstudio
@jutemagazine cover is around so that’s pretty cool . Digging this shot of babe @klochella styled by #courtneyannstudio in @marymejimmypaul , photographed by @terezajanakova , hair and makeup by @taylourchanel