When it comes to my fitness goals, I’ve historically always aborted my plan before seeing results. If I couldn’t follow the plan EXACTLY I didn’t believe the results would come. So I’d quit because starting over and “being more perfect next time” seemed easier than dusting myself off and moving forward. I couldn’t deal with the idea of not doing it perfectly!
Now, when those bumps in the road come and I miss a week of workouts or forget to marinate my chicken (this happened with my @cleansimpleeats meal plan tonight!), I find the COURAGE to be compassionate with myself and move forward with the IMPERFECT version of my plan. No judging myself for “failing” or dwelling on how scattered and incapable I might feel. I just move forward, aware of my emotions, but not swept away by them (and for the record, I’ve been working hard on this for the past 8 months thanks to @brenebrown).
Can you relate? We HAVE to give ourselves credit for showing up, even when we think we should be doing more. 💪🏼 #giftsofimperfection#cultivatingselfcompassion#littlemissfearless
DO YOU BELIEVE people are doing the best they can?
We’ve been discussing this in my Rising Strong class and I can’t stop thinking about it. @BreneBrown says it’s especially difficult for perfectionists to give generous assumptions to others because we hold ourselves to such high standards. If we feel like we’re not doing our best (and we’re never doing “enough”), how can we assume other people are?
I consider myself now a recovering perfectionist and this strangely was not the case for me. I always assumed people are doing the best they can, but I’ve always struggled to give myself that same grace. Why could I offer compassion to others, but not to myself?
I learned it was more about what I was holding onto (past hurt, past experiences, past expectations), than it was about my inability to be compassionate. Striving for perfection was how I protected myself from future hurt, future unmet expectations, and to “keep myself in-line.”
Once I got curious enough about my past experiences to explore them, and began doing the work of letting go—I started to believe I was DOING THE BEST I COULD back then. And self-compassion became easier to embrace.
We all have something holding us back in some way or another. But I believe we are doing the best we can, given where we’ve been. And that is ENOUGH. 💗 #littlemissfearless#lettinggoofperfection#cultivatingselfcompassion
Omg. Lately I do things like this and immediately think: I can’t share that. How embarrassing. And then I’m like: HECK YES I’mma post dis. Because life is embarrassing sometimes and awkward and there’s bad lighting and you’re a little too good at the chicken dance 🐔 but that’s what makes life LIFE. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to enjoy it. (PS - that’s #paleolife in the works... two weeks down, two to go!) // #littlemissfearless#giftsofimperfection#cultivatingselfcompassion
BEHOLD: My backside. 😜 Sometimes I forget that even the most perfect-looking people have struggles and insecurities. When I do forget, I have a hard time letting my own imperfections be seen. But when I see us all as equals, and we are, I see my own strength and power, and the ripple effect that owning our space and our stories has on the world. It just takes one person to see and do things differently to start a revolution.
HANDS UP if you’re with me and believe there’s a place for all of us on the Gram! 🙌🏼 .
http://liketk.it/2uQXC @liketoknow.it #liketkit#littlemissfearless#giftsofimperfection#cultivatingselfcompassion
✨Cultivating Self-Compassion. ✨Next Saturday 1/27 from 2-5pm at Terra Cottage in Alameda.✨ We’ll be discussing the science behind self-compassion and what gets in the way of offering ourselves compassion + easing into a few simple practices together with space for reflection and sharing.✨Preregistration required. This workshop is part of my Self-Soothing Skills Workshop Series for Women happening monthly through April. ✨Sign up for the whole series or take one of the four individual workshops on its own. Link to the full details and registration in my bio. ✨ Star Tree by Kris Johnson Michiels #selfsoothingskills#selfcompassion#slowingdown#being#allowing#facingwhatstrue#cultivatingselfcompassion#humanbeing
“...and that’s when I recognized compassion as a great chief. He, She, They, It, whatever it is, when it showed up, it never left my side. With compassion, I was able to bear what felt unbearable. All I could do was feel the emotions and have faith that my heart was strong enough to take it.” ~Spring Washam, A Fierce Heart. ✨
Women, please join me for an afternoon of Cultivating Self-Compassion on Saturday, January 27th at Terra Cottage in Alameda. 2-5 pm. $50 Early bird price through January 19th. ✨
Cultivating Self-Compassion is the first workshop in my Self-Soothing Skills Workshop Series for Women happening one Saturday a month January through April. Check out the full series and register through the link in my bio. ✨ #selfsoothingskillsgroup#selfsoothingskillsworkshopsforwomen#cultivatingselfcompassion#terracottagealameda#selfcompassionasapractice
I am learning lately what it means in my world that I am an over-thinker. It means that I am prone to worry when there really aren't good reasons to worry. It means that I can be persistent until I'm exhausted... And then I give up. It means I am acutely aware of the details, even when it's inconvenient or annoying.
5/100: You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too not gentle, too edgy, too soft. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone - profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are. #acceptance#beauthentic#beyou#cultivatingselfcompassion
In Brené Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she lays out 10 guideposts for living a wholehearted life. This includes becoming resilient to the shame in culture and in relationships.
Cultivating self-compassion and letting go of perfectionism is the second guidepost that has helped me become shame resilient. I used to constantly strive for perfection and felt deep shame when I made a mistake. Now I practice self-compassion, showing myself compassion as I would a friend. Experiencing self-compassion has been a long journey for me and I continue to be presented with opportunities to practice it. I have found that self-compassion is not a place, not a destination, but a journey. I am sure I will have opportunities throughout my life to practice it. Life is for learning new things and having experiences. Yes, I will fall. Yes, I will make mistakes. Yes, I will get up and try again. So when I do not do something perfectly I remind myself that this life is not for perfectionism, it is for learning and experiencing. (Now that this post is perfect, I can share! 😂😂😂. Seriously though, I have written and rewritten, edited and re-edited. I feel like my writing has to be perfect!) What would showing a bit of self-compassion do for you? What is one thing you feel like you need to have perfect?