To be or not to be...
acrylic on canvas...
This is an older piece that I made while I was in the LCC art department. During this time, and the creation of this painting, my art instructor was very involved in exploring and “playing” with my subconscious process. I had very little awareness of this at the time. But on the last day of studio class time, he crossed the line, in a sexual way. It changed everything. It was like a needle was scratching across a record. As I began to reflect over the period of a couple weeks about his “approach”, I started to have a nervous brake down, realizing that he had been “playing” with my subconscious for quite a while. And as I reflected over what happened, and what I heard from some of his former students, I realized that he was looking to have some sort of creative love affair with targeted students. I was an older student, but some that I spoke to were really young. In their early twenties and crushing out on this egotistical (married) man. It was probably the most confusing experience I’ve had in art...Ultimately, the experience lead me to stop feeling safe at the school. So this piece, a self portrait, to be or not to be the whore of a psychological predator...
Gratefully, the answer is no...
This is a perfect example of how a professor with knowledge of subconscious processes, symbolism, and over twenty years experience “teaching” would use that knowledge to seduce, control, and shame his students. I hope he gets all of the recognition he deserves.
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It doesn’t always go to plan
Attempted 90kg thruster for 3 reps, I received the bar in an awkward position on my wrist and just couldn’t drive the bar for the last one
Rather than see this as a failure I see it as an opportunity to learn from and grow.
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