Creativity takes courage ~ Henry Matisse \\ It’s been a week head down in a stack of pages that once printed and bound will be my next book—the most beautiful thing I’ve ever created to date, besides my children, the work I’m more proud of that anything. It’s meant making hard choices, both in the page and off. It’s meant a year plus of giving this sweet girl a taste of what it means to be under pressure, to not always be sure, but to hope and wish and try and give deeply for something you believe in. This week, especially, but in truth every step of the way she’s been the one keeping me going. This week we had hours and hours together where I had to be silent and fix and tweak and think while she played, quietly by my side—through her days off and afternoons after school and straight through dinners and bedtimes. She did the hard things. She held in her tears. She smiled. Tonight, her little heart couldn’t anymore and she cried in my arms about the things in her life—a much tougher classroom and tons more homework and trying hard, so hard, but not always living up. This week, for the first time, I realize that she understands more than she doesn’t about my world. That the things she worries and thinks about are more like the things I worry and think about than they are different. There are still dolls and fairies and make believe and innocence, but more and more we have our things: a stop for green juice and a Yoga break and music and our deep desire to make and create something beautiful—something beautiful the world will appreciate and love and understand, in common. I still have hours of work ahead of me tonight—one more night of it—and tonight I ate cereal for dinner for the first time since maybe college, and I will go celebrate another friend’s book tomorrow looking worn and unrested, but somewhere in all that is a deep peace that in large part, I attribute to this girl right here. I’ll finish this beautiful book, not just for her, but because of her. 💘
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