Imagine: it is 2007. Unexpected danger, intense flashing lights, intense mental pain, split. Heartbreak of the worst kind. blink. Waking up 50 pounds heavier as someone else. (Where in the world??) A new baby. Joy, confusion, heartbreak. Blink. Wake up again three years later ravenously hungry and confused as hell. Betrayal. Heartbreak. Anger. Blackness. Blink. Wake up again three years later, pregnant. Give thanks, sing for joy, feel the pain of isolation and then back to black under the hot desert sun. Finally waking again in a leaky basement. Triggers. A flood of terrifying and confusing memories. Love lost. Plans to find the friends who had been able to help wake up my core each time. They’d be waiting for me, ready for me to wake up for good. But I am alone. To me, it feels like late 2008. It is actually 2018. @kristinchronicles ‘s recent post about her core waking up after seven years asleep felt vaguely familiar to me. My parts went quiet when I read her post.My firefighters started singing, dancing, distracting me with art and yoga. Ok great. Let’s feel good for a change. Clean up our life. Get used to being multiple, except we’re sure we already knew we were multiple somehow. Vague memories that don’t fit our life at all. A second life?Delusion? We aren’t sure. The book our therapist loaned us this afternoon confirmed that we feel off-kilter and so damn confused because we have all the memories from the alters who were fronting for the last ten years, but I don’t actually share their experiences. 🤯🤯🤯 So I’ve been awake for six months, having thought I was a singleton only to learn that the me who had been fronting was only one of several alters who have been functioning for the last decade. We survived trauma that most people can’t even imagine. We survived. No wonder I feel so 🤬 confused and 🤯 all the time. My parts started working out who was helpful and who had 💩to deal with at least ten years ago, maybe longer, and they have been working while I’ve been asleep. I went to sleep with my parts in totally different states than they are in now. 🤯 the concepts I’ve been learning about for therapy felt new to me, but they’re old news for my system.