Sitting with the complexity of all things right now, the humanness of it all and the divinity of it all. I want concrete answers for all of my internal inconsistencies and yet I find that as soon as I settle on one, my truth shifts, leaving my initial conclusion a ghost in my mind.
Learning to love all of me and others in our wholeness has proven to be my greatest challenge and gift. In a society that does not value vulnerability, weakness, and hypocrisy, the competing characteristics that make up myself get labeled as “positive” or “negative” rather than simply put “Karina”
Myself remains at odds with the many parts of myself projecting the admirable (see photo above) and shielding the ugly facets of me. Robbing myself and others the multidimensional contradictory beauty that is Karina in my broken wholeness.
This editing of self (only promoted by social media platforms) inhibits myself and others from experiencing what I believe to be life’s most precious phenomena, being seen and loved fully in all our beauty.
I am the 1 in 5.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
I am starting to be asked more frequently, “Why do you do this? Why talk about it? Why do you want to be seen as someone with a mental illness?”.
The flaw that these people see around ‘being someone with mental illness’ is STIGMA.
I mean....seriously...why should I hide my mental illness? Why is it socially unacceptable for me or for anyone to state their diagnosis?
It is not 'attention seeking'
It is not 'contagious'
I am still the person you knew before you found out I had a mental illness.
I tell my story because of an unexplainable suicide that happened nearly a year ago. A suicide that happened to be the same day that I had a plan to also end my life.
It shook me to my core.
I knew I needed to seek additional help.
I wanted to be a voice to let others know that they don't have to hide. To let others know that they are not alone.
I wanted to be an advocate for those that struggle.
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appreciates: ELLI CROCKER. “This work explores connections to the “other” and that which is elemental within us. The tension with the animal is an essential aspect of our humanness. We both celebrate and condemn that which is wild and instinctual. This long ambivalence is evident in art and literature throughout human history. As adults in contemporary western society, we live more in the mind than in the body, but not always comfortably. Our shared mortality links us to the animal kingdom, and the terms of our existence with one another are both brutal and tender. “The Portage series addresses issues of stewardship and mutual interdependence with other living beings.ralistic, but have a mystical component. “ ellicrocker.com
From the series “Humans and Beings”
Portage: Boy on Turtle (Interpretation of sculpture by Charles Y. Harvey, ) Worcester, MA 1912), 2010, Mixed Media/Drafting Film 33 x 38” #contemporaryart#illustration#feministart#animalart#painting#artworld#workonpaper#turtle#charlesharvey#magic#humaness#drawing#interiordecor#artcollecting#artgallery#instaart#artoftheday
New discoveries in science is showing that WE have the natural abilities...aka super innate powers ...to reprogram everything that is I. Its the easiest BS (belief system)to comprehend once you get ovah yaself.
My transformational journey began over 4 decades ago as i asked of This Universe...our Creators..."who am i and why am i here?" The answers down the years often introduced itself in the forms of angelic humans like Iyanala Vanzant.
Her book The Spirit of A Man- A Vision of Transformation for Black Men and the Women Who Love Them ---started it all for me just less 18 years ago. I am fortunate and grateful for sister Iyanla who simple tells it like it is and offers so much more to learn, evolve and transform from. Many blessing.
“For a moment ponder the Lord’s subtleties and kindnesses and the traces of the divine solicitude and care that have arranged this handful of earth. Look at the different kinds of honor and the special privileges of nearness that He has placed within human beings. For He created the whole cosmos, but He looked not upon a single creature with the eye of love, He sent not a single messenger to any existent thing, He sent no message to any creature. When the turn of the children of Adam arrived, He pulled them up through gentleness and caressed them through bounty and quarries of light. He made their inmost mystery the place of His own glance, He sent them messengers, He set angels over them as guardians, He placed the fire of love in their hearts, and He sent them continuous incitements to yearning and motives for desire.
The purpose of all these words and allusions is to show that a human being is a handful of earth. Whatever ennoblement and honor people have received derives from the gentleness and care of the Holy Lord. When He gives, He gives because of His own Generosity, not because of your worthiness. He gives because of His Magnanimity, not because of your prostration. He gives through His Bounty, not because of your good works…“
-Rashid Al-Din Maybudi, from the Kashf al-Asrar wa ‘Uddat al-Abrar (Unveiling of Mysteries and Provision of the Righteous)
The only thing we really need here is air & water. Everything else are all wants but there is nothing wrong with having wants/desires/aspirations. What is the point of the flesh if not to feel it’s pains & pleasures. Stay harmonious & enjoy this shit as much as possible we are only here in the flesh for a few seconds. ...
I know what you say about me.
I know the stares.
I know how you walk on egg shells around me.
I know you are judging me.
Your eyes say it all...did you bother to even get the facts first?
It's easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present, their past...but do you know about their pain? Their tears? The burdens they carry? The battles they fight? The challenges they face? Just because you can’t see a bandage doesn’t mean it’s not important. You would be amazed what a smile can hide.
I used to be that person...the judgmental one.
Very judgmental. I hurt my family deeply by doing this. I lost their trust. I lost their compassion. I drove a deeper wedge.
I was so closed minded...unwilling to listen.
Where was my compassion? My love?
I was so blinded...perhaps even brainwashed into thinking a certain way.
I remember my mother saying, "This isn't you talking..."
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