Last night I had a dream I first thought made absolutely no sense. I was thinking “ok subconscious mind, what was that?” Last night I dreamed I was back in my childhood home with my parents. There was a zombie apocalypse & the only way to get safely away was to ride a dragon which we were waiting to be brought to us... Weird right??? I woke up with great anxiety. In the dream I kept looking out the front door to make sure there was no walking dead to harm us & then looking out the back door to see if our dragon that will take us to safety had arrived. The zombies were moving in closer. That’s when I woke up. Now The Walking Dead TV show did cause me a lot of nightmares when I binged watched it a year back so I stayed clear of zombie related stuff, besides Shaun of the Dead which is just hilarious, to avoid silly nightmares. So why was I having a dream about them now? What was with the dragon? I realized after a moment it all made sense. Monday is the anniversary of my Sisy’s passing, 16 yrs now. I know my grief has worsened through the years, it’s hard to register all that pain when you are only 12. My mind knows I don’t like going back to that time, I had to stop it before I went to sleep “don’t go there”. So I end up dreaming of my parents & I awaiting to be harmed while at the same time waiting to be rescued... that’s how it always feels. Waiting for the nightmare to end & it all turns out to be a bad dream. Why a dragon as the savior? Well at 12 I discovered the Harry Potter books, they transported me away from the pain. The series gave me a light in the darkness. I read the series every year following the anniversary as a comfort, a way to cope. I miss my Sisy everyday but it escalates with the month of May; her birthday, Mother’s Day, & the anniversary of her passing. And I know the people I love the most in this world are hurting worse too, which makes it so much harder. Grief is difficult to share. Everyone experiences it & handles it differently. I see it as a chronic ailment, like chronic diseases. It never goes away. It’s always a part of you. And it’s different in each person. #lovetomyfamily PC: @carolyn_munholland
Woke up early to prep for the @uncle.stump Slug’s Paradise Festival on June 23rd! Be sure to head over to www.unclestump.com for more info + tickets! There is going to be music, food, drinks, vendors and camping! Should be an amazing weekend!
A yoga teacher read this in class a few months back at @laughinglotusny and it stuck with me. What a beautiful metaphor... “It is helpful to visualise the mind as a tower of windows. Sadly, many people remain trapped at the one window, looking out every day at the same scene in the same way. Real growth is experienced when you draw back from that one window, turn and walk around the inner tower of your soul and see all the different windows that await your gaze. Through these different windows, you can see new vistas of possibility, presence and creativity. Complacency, habit and blindness often prevent you from feeling and living your life. So much depends on the frame of vision – the window through which we look.” - John O’Donohue #openmyworld#listening#feeling#being#exploremore#freedomthinkers#liveauthentic#sheisnotlost#intention#liveandlearn#adaptation#growth#sheexplores#colombia#southamerica