Why was I absent yesterday? It was an interesting afternoon...
I was leaving town to head to college station and hit a wet spot on the road. My truck swerved and then spun twice before rolling backwards into a ditch. Two incredibly kind strangers pulled me out in the rain and followed me until I was off the highway. I didn’t even get their names. Dad stopped what he was doing and came to meet me. Erik (who was on the phone with me when it happened) immediately drove to Nav and was the most perfect human being, driving me around to run my errands and treating me to dinner. I am so overwhelmed by the entire thing - but mostly by all of the kindness and grace in every part of that scary afternoon. God was watching over me, and I am so grateful. ••
*You know you’re really crying when your tear drops are full of mascara. ••
FULL DISCLOSURE: This has been my mood for the past few days. Yes, even including the sad panda eyes. I am the poster child for "Fake It Til You Make It!" And I have been fake smiling it up.
Truth be told, inside I'm a big ole jumbled mess of feelings and emotions. I'm terrified for my family in Virginia with Hurricane Florence closing in. I have been dealing with some frustrating health issues. I feel a bit lost with my current business direction. They all play into each other.
I know damn well that I should focus on something that I can change and take control of. But it is hard, for I am only a goddess in human form.
So today, I got my hair cut and colored. I spent my afternoon having a really eye opening chat with an angel in disguise. I tried to write some but it felt forced so I left it.
Remember that you are allowed to not be okay sometimes. You are not allowed to stay not okay. Sometimes life isn't all sparkles and brilliant ideas but that's when you fake it.
Do you need to take something off your plate? What do you need to make more of a priority?
Welcome to my self-care page! I decided to start this as a way to share what I’m learning, practicing, and struggling with in terms of self-care. I am going into my 6th year teaching visual art at public elementary schools in Maine. Last year I felt like I had fully burnt out. I struggled with my mental health, and realized how horribly I was taking care of myself, (like not eating lunch, not sleeping, showering once a week, spending way too much time at school, etc.). I also saw the need for self-care among my peers. I decided to delve into the topic with research, experimentation, and practice. This summer I presented my first workshop on the topic. My work is not done. This is just the beginning!
⭐️ This photo was from the summer I was working full time teaching art at a summer camp, running their aftercare program, and working part time helping a friend with his manufacturing business. I was spread too thin. Camp orientation started the Saturday after school ended. I had also just joined the Maine Arts Leadership Initiative, which I do not regret at all, but it added even more to my plate. I had one week at the end of the summer to get my classroom and curriculum ready for a new teaching job.
⭐️ I knew it was too much. I remember crying a lot that summer. I returned to school sad and bitter. I knew I needed to make a different choice the following summer, which is why I’ve decided to not work full time in July and August since then. I feel lucky that I can make that decision.
⭐️ Making choices that benefit your physical and mental well-being is important, no matter what your situation is. I understand that if you don’t have a partner to help with income, or if you have to care for your children or other family members, taking time for yourself is more difficult. It still needs to be a priority. Start with 5 mins, of mindfulness. Sit, breathe, take in the sights, sounds, and smells around you. If you are lucky to have an entire day to yourself, I challenge you to act with a mindset of self-care as much as possible. I am challenging myself to focus on this today!