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i recently had a friend text me and say, ‘i’ve noticed when you’re having a hard time you withdraw.’ said friend is also a therapist and at times will analyze and call me out. but i don’t mind, she’s always right, and she always helps.
truth is, i have been having a difficult time.
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I actually think it’s quite easy to dream about who we could be. I think it’s much harder to think about who we are. To be aware of ourselves in the present. It’s much harder for me to be vulnerable and admit that I spend minutes and months wrestling with what being ‘Amanda’ and ‘pastor’ means.
These are words from my sermon this past Sunday, which I’ve spent more time with. I haven’t posted on social media in days. I’ve spent time walking in thought. Walking myself back to myself, taking the hand of gentleness over and again.
What can we change when or posture is openness? If we open to ourselves - to God in us, here - without forced change.