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I didn’t have any nightmares at the mental ward. I barely dreamed cause of the antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. It gives me an abrupt and shallow sleep, the kind where I wake up more tired. We took our night meds at 9pm. We were allowed to watch TV for another 2 hours but nobody could stay awake. My friend Ed would pass out drooling in front of the TV. His glasses always fogged up. A loud train would pass by at 2am every night. If it wakes me I take a walk down the hallway. I hear some sounds that’s sadly routine. Scott always cried loudly. He thinks no one will hear him at night but everybody does. Doris, locked in solitary, would keep screaming “I’M SORRY!!” Was it to the staff or to herself? Was she dreaming or awake? These sounds sowed the seeds to my future nightmares...I do remember one dream I had in the ward. In the dream I was in a hotel room past midnight. A Matt Damon movie played loudly on HBO. I lay in bed drinking Jameson and slashed my arms with a razor. I took photos of my arms and texted it to my wife who was desperately trying to find where I am. I’m drunk and cut too deep into my wrists. Blood painted the bed like a crime scene. I stumbled to the bathroom and vomited on the floor. I collapsed with my head on the toilet. I stared at the shower mat next to me covered with my blood and vomit. On it printed the words: “Who’s taking care of you? Sheraton Hotels”...This dream is so eerily close to what happened the day before I was admitted. I don’t want to call it a nightmare because it’ll mean I’m living in one...Last night I had a wonderful dream. I was in Disneyland with my family. My wife and I strolled down Main Street USA with our daughter in the middle holding both our hands. We tried to go on splash mountain but my daughter cried cause it looked too scary. To stop her crying I got her a pink lemonade. The sun set and the three of us watched the fireworks over Cinderella’s castle. Then I woke up...alone in my room. I cried to dream again...
Please share a dream or nightmare.