As soon as my phone chimes, I leap out of my bed and open the text.
‘Be there in 20 x’
I fling my closet doors open and scan through the limited options. The one pair of non-black jeans sends first-date vibes so there are the bottoms. My eyes dart back and forth between the few blouses I have, yet none of them seem to work with the jeans... the brown sleeveless coat I have on the other hand? It matches perfectly. It's never been worn and what kind of occasion better than a first date to wear it? Add in a white singlet and that's my outfit sorted.
I head over to my dressing table where the little amount of makeup I own resides. My reflection in the mirror meets my eyes and it makes me smile. I'm not wearing black for the first time ever. For once, it actually looks like I'm going somewhere other than a funeral. Who even knew that I had clothes that weren't dark?
‘Just a little bit of foundation’, I tell myself.
It covers the red on my pale complexion and I smile fondly at myself. But the faint pink glow of my cheeks fades along with the red and my smile disappears.
‘Maybe a little bit of blush too.’
The pink returns as the brush tickles my skin. Once applied, I feel more satisfied... if it wasn't for the black lines that stand boldly from underneath my eyes.
‘A bit of concealer will fix that.’
And by the end of it, there I am sitting with a fully caked face of makeup... just like all of those hoes who lost their virginity on the first date.
Shit. Am I a hoe?! My eyes widen in the mirror. Surely not. "You are not a hoe," I tell myself out loud, "Raven Garcia is not a hoe and never will be."
Self-pep talks really do work.
I grin to myself and shove my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. Downstairs is pretty much empty, thankfully. Cam is at a friend's house for the night and mom and Phil are spending a nice together as fiancees. It's still pretty shocking to me. Big boy Phil grew a pair and proposed. Proposed. They're going to have a ceremony where they'll vow to be there for eachother for the rest of their lives and the rest of mom's life basically means the rest of Cam's life and the rest of my life.