That doesn't mean we can't bring gentleness and self compassion jnto our lives.
These are different to self-pity and are healing traits rather than defects. 👍👍💛💛
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Mentioned I unexpectedly opened up about a secret of mine yesterday. I held it in for the last couple weeks, knowing I would eventually have to tell someone but had no idea how or when. I struggled in my recovery a little over 2 weeks ago now and didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to admit it. Even to myself. The pain of opening up about it was excruciating and I felt myself rejecting the act of dealing with it. The close friend I told was extremely supportive and I am so thankful they responded with so much understanding and kindness.
Now, I find myself grateful that happened yesterday. I’ve been living alone even though I was repeatedly advised not to in early recovery. So today, I made the big step and submitted 2 applications to different recovery housing agencies in the hopes to move into one in the coming months/depending on their availability. So here I am, grateful for all of that pain from yesterday because it gave me the courage to make a really good decision to go forward in a better direction 🕊
It isn't transform Tuesday but it is my 11 month sobriety mark today 🙏
First picture is in 2010 in Japan. I was 17 and I was deeply invested into my eating disorder. I was probably around 89 lbs here and my chest was always in pain. I hardly ate, I did a ton of cardio, and put myself down.
Second photo is in 2010 as well but about 5 months later (for my 18th birthday, sorry @haygypsygirl for chopping you out. I took my sister out too haha) when I first started drinking *ever* and at the first sip I was hooked. I am positive that water bottle has vodka in it. I always blacked out when I drank. One was too many and a million was never enough. I started getting sober in 2016 but relapsed after 9 months. I am now 11 months sober after that relapse and I have never felt so good with life before.
That takes us to the last photo, yesterday, during arm day here in 2018.
It has been a long battle and it never really leaves my mind, but I have control again.
I have control of my life, emotions, how I respond to situations, and my mind. I no longer allow negative energy to knock me off track. I have a solid foundation of faith and determination built to stand on now 💪
I am here for anyone who wishes to dig deeper into my story and/or wishes to share theirs with me. Let's heal together. Let's be better together 🙌❤