For me it's easier to hide; stay home, cover myself myself with comfy blanket, maybe drink some coffee, and listen to some heavy metal or read a book. Sometimes I like going out and socialize with people but I still struggle with that; build up new relationships, keep in touch with people. I always think: "Should I call or text them how they're doing? Ask them for meet up with cup of coffee and cinnamon buns (hey, I'm a Finn after all)" but there's that voice keeps telling me I shouldn't BOTHER these people. Why am I bothering them? I honestly don't know. I'm really bad at keeping in touch even with my close friends hence it's even harder for me to maintain new friendships. I don't mind for not having too many friends, I already have enough, but sometimes I wonder why I'm not even trying to show any interest in people's lives. It's not that I wouldn't care, I just don't have the guts to show it to people. Sometimes I receive messages from friends, people that I've met, how am I doing, and that's when it hits me. It amazes me how these people actually want to talk to me. Am I really worth their time? Of course I am! But I still stay home and wonder in my own thoughts why is it so hard for me open up to people. I have friends around the world now, but I still feel embarrassed to "bother" them and send them a 'hello'. Maybe one day I learn to be more social with others but now I just stay in my room, listen the rain hitting against my window and read a book about 'simple matters' wondering what should I do next.