This guy has done so much for me. He has helped me grow and become a better version of myself. When I met him, I had just stopped taking antidepressants (cold turkey) and started therapy. For the first time in my life I learned how to feel my emotions. He was so patient during this process and did everything he could to make our relationship better.
Because we were both going thru so much and had our own insecurities and baggage, we constantly struggled. Our relationship was far from perfect. We let our insecurities rule us and were in a downward spiral. We worked so hard to be better, but it got to point where we needed a major change.
This trip and time alone has taught us both so much about ourselves. I have realized how many bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms I have. I am happy alone again, however I still want this man in my life. We have been in contact during this trip and he has encouraged me every step of the way. He has not persuaded me to do anything and has let me decide what is best for my life.
Friday I head back to SD. Wade and I are going to give us another chance. It's really hard for me to share what my plans are because I fear judgement. But since I have been open and honest throughout my entire journey, I can't stop now. **Fine print: I love you all but I am not looking for unsolicited advice right now! 😁😁** There are so many things I am going to do differently. Most importantly I am going to continue to go on solo trips, to get out of my comfort zone, and find myself. I am going to connect with friends and family and be comfortable with who I am NOW.
I would like to find a rally job (anyone hiring!?) and use the money I make to visit the western part of the country! When my passport arrives, I plan on heading to Thailand or Vietnam!
Nothing is permanent in life and we can choose what we want to do and who we want to be with at any time. Here's to not settling, taking chances, and living the fullest life possible!