AYAHUASCA CEREMONY #2.
Safe to say, I was shitting myself.
The day sped by, and before I knew it I was kneeling once more, drinking the putrid sour liquid, somehow tasting worse than last time.
I told myself to not go back for seconds, but as the time came again where we could get more, I wasnt feeling anything.
And whilst the fear for having another horrendous experience was extremely prevalent, my biggest fear, my POMO (Phobia Of Missing Out) once again trumped, and with an audible "Fuck It",
I jumped back in.
It couldn't be as bad as last time, at least now I knew what to expect.
After what felt like forever of feeling nothing but pure frustration, it hit me like a bullet train.
The sky opened up and I could see another world in the heavens, full of colour and height.
I was pulled up into it, suspended, and horribly out of control.
I was completely dissorientated- I bounced off the walls, the ceiling, the floor....whatever "I" was.
I couldn't grip onto reality, I couldn't focus, overwhelmed by the terror of seeing loud noises and hearing flashing lights whizzing around me.
The sound was deafening.
It was like being on a rollercoaster with the sound turned up too high.
I would shoot off, pulled into the abyss of the Ayahuasca washing machine, only to gasp out some love and gratitude when I would briefly resurface into my own awareness, hoping to surrender and move past this stage.
Without being aware of it, I was flashing my light. My facilitator came over. I tried to look at him but I couldnt. My eyes werent my eyes anymore.
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrre yooooooooooooou Okaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy?"
I heard him say, the words breaking apart and flying around above my head.
"I dont know" I slurred, hearing me, but not me.
As he proceeded to talk to me about surrender, breathing and all that bullshit that seemed as helpful as giving a fish a pair of gumboots, I noticed his eyes had detatched themselves from his head and went flying in opposite directions, followed by his head and his limbs.
I swatted the limbs away, trying to get them out of my face.
One of the maestros came to sing to me. It was overwhelming, her voice coming across as screami